ETE - EXCEED THE EXPECTATIONS

ETE

Exceed The Expectations

If you add little EXTRA in ORDINARY you become extraordinary. I ask

this question to my students that if they go to Mumbai and take a taxi

from airport to nariman point, which takes more than an hour, what

they expect from taxi driver. Most of them reply that the shortest

route, safe driving, smiling behavior etc. now suppose if he offers you

newspaper or magazine to read during journey or a small water bottle,

how would you feel? Probably you would like to give tip when you get

down. It is the reward for extra service he has given.

This applies in each and every role of life. Give little extra than what is

expected out of you and you will become extra ordinary. Mostly that

extra do not cost any thing. It requires only an innovative thinking. Try

it from today and you will notice the positive difference

immediately. Exceed the expectations and all will praise you.

5 Tips to Exceed the Expectations:

1. Make a list of expectations that others expect according to your role.

2. Think creatively about what extra you can give compared to what is

expected from you in your role.

3. Make it a habit to give some thing extra in whatever you are doing.

4. Give extra in a natural way rather than expecting some thing in

return.

5. Consider this as your duty to give extra rather than obligation.

ENS: ELIMINATE NEGATIVE STRESS

ENS: Eliminate Negative Stress

In modern era, stress is inevitable. Due to urbanization, industrialization and fast pace technological development, needs are increasing every day. It is not easy to reduce desires and expectations.  Competition and comparison is so high that even if you do not want, one of your family members may compel you to compare and compete. Unfulfilled desires and expectations are increasing the stress. 

There are 2 types of stress. Positive and Negative. Positive stress leads to progress whereas negative stress affects physical and mental health. Progress in any field even in spirituality, is not possible if certain amount of stress is not there. Mahavira, Buddha, Christ, Mohammad, Gandhi and Mother Teresa all went through positive stress and achieved highest level of their purpose. Process of building stress, start with our senses. Senses feel and mind starts thinking and generates desires and expectations. Desires generate attachment, unfulfilment of which leads to anger. When anger starts, intellect stops working and that leads to deterioration of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health of a person. 

5 Tips to deal with Negative stress:

1. Discriminate between negative and positive stress.

2. Meditate to remove negative stress.

3. Learn to let go.

4. Reduce the expectations.

5. Think positive.

Synchronise 3H and achieve everlasting Happiness.

5 Tips for Synchronise 3H and achieve everlasting Happiness. 

Are you looking for happiness in life? It is an irrelevant question because everyone will answer in YES. It is not necessary that person with all luxuries is happy or financially a very poor person is unhappy. Luxuries can give comforts and increase pleasures or even can reduce pain but happiness is purely dependent on a person internal state of mind.  The simple formula for achieving eternal happiness is synchronising 3H (Hands, Head and Heart). In other way it is aligning mind, body and heart. 

It is easier said than done. The biggest disadvantage of urbanisation and industrialisation is that we have adopted artificialness and diplomacy. Our mind, intellect and actions are not synchronised. We use so many masks that we have forgotten what real we are. We have suppressed and buried the voice of conscious so deeply that we are totally deaf about its echo. Our intellect is so much guided by our senses and bodily pleasures that it has stopped evaluating what is right and what is wrong. Our actions have become so much self oriented that we have no consideration for the feeling of others. We can not remain happy when our surrounding is not happy. We can not achieve bliss when our own hands, head and heart are not in rhythm. 

Tips for synchronising 3H:

1. Meditate everyday for few minutes after you wake up and before you go to bed. 

2. Let mind control senses rather than senses control mind. 

3. Keep developing wisdom by reading & listening philosophies and spirituality. 

4. Think before you act. Quality of your actions will improve. 

5. Be action-less when you are emotionally upset.  

EIP: Extreme is Poisonous.

EIP: 

Extreme is Poisonous. 

 

If we leave apart few thing such as, scoring cent percent marks in exam in any subject, extreme of anything is dangerous. Like in food, all ingredients should be in balance quantity to make it delicious; in life also everything must be balanced. Though people think that having good things such as love, money and power are good as much as you can possess, it is not true. Excess of money and power also brings evil if one does not know how to handle it wisely. Mostly it is found that the future generations in family get spoiled if they are brought-up in extreme affluence and power since birth. 

 

Sometime even the extreme of giving or receiving love also becomes poisonous. A child when he does not get balance between love and discipline, he will fail to develop a success driven personality. Nature also teaches us that if things are in their extremes life can’t exist. For instance there is no life on North or South Pole or in deserts. One should try to create balance in life. Probably Buddha’s middle way meant to have balance in life and teaches us to avoid extremities. 

5 Tips to remain on middle path:

1. Develop an attitude of detachment with things.

2. Reduce the expectations in relationships.

3. Develop the habit of giving.

4. Drop your ego or at least manage your ego effectively.

5. Be more polite and more humble if you have excess of good things.

EIE: Enthusiasm Ignites Enthusiasm

EIE: 

Enthusiasm Ignites Enthusiasm

 

Have you ever noticed in a party or in a crowd, one person has got capability to ignite the entire environment. When such people walk in, everything is full of life and when they walk out the party feels like a deflated balloon. Such people are full of positive thoughts, positive energy and high level of enthusiasm. In their presence it seems that even big problems become either small or vanish. They ignite enthusiasm in their entire team and enthusiasm of team can move any mountain.

 

Have you ever wondered what the secret of such personalities is?  Why they are always full of energy? I think the fact that they read the word impossible always as i-m-possible. They always carry YES I CAN attitude. They are very optimistic. They are very quick in finding alternate path in case a problem arises. They always maintain their coolness. They never or very momentarily feel disheartened. They will always be smiling and laughing. They are contagious and fill entire atmosphere around them full of enthusiasm.

 

5 tips to maintain enthusiasm all the time:

1. Think positive, talk positive and act positive.

2. Enjoy the present moments, the NOW.

3. Remain cheerful and encourage people to be cheerful.

4. Treat problems as opportunities.

5. Maintain “Yes I can” and “Yes I will” attitude.

EHS Excuses Hinders Success

EHS

Excuses Hinders Success

 

Mostly people have habit of giving excuses, which works like a roadblock or speed-breaker for success. I would like to divide excuses in 3 categories. First is Self Justifying Excuses, second as Non Committal Excuses and third is Failure Justifying Excuses. When a person has very low confidence then he will keep on giving logics, reasons and excuses to self that why he is not having ability to do a particular task. Such types of people are expert in killing their own initiative.

 

Second category of excusers, are those who have the ability to do the task but have high degree of fear to fail. They are ready to work but before starting they will express their doubt about success of task. They would like to protect themselves from taking any blame in case failure occurs.

 

Then third, there are people who will start the job with full confidence but in case failure occurs, rather than finding fault in self, try to come with excuses and put blame on someone or circumstances. Such people can never learn from failures and their chance of future success reduces. 

5 Tips to eliminate excuses:

1. Analyse deeply the excuse before expressing. 

2. Develop positive attitude within. 

3. Do not blame others. 

4. Develop attitude of I CAN and I WILL. 

5. Differentiate between facts and excuses and deal accordingly. 

EDR: Ego Destroys Relationship.

EDR: 

Ego Destroys Relationship. 

 

I know many people who do not talk to near and dear ones in family because they got hurt by silly reasons and now they are waiting other party to apologise and take first step. They keep presuming all negative thoughts and build an imaginary wall of hatred. 

 

This often happens in professional relationship also. Ego totally destroys teamwork and performance of both the party and affects negatively those who are involved. 

 

Though it is true that if any one takes initiative to solve the dead lock by initiating communication that is considered as weakness by other party and his ego further increases. Still initiating communication is the best way to save the relationship. Egoist people radiate negative energy and their aura shrinks.

 

5 Tips to deal with Ego:

1. Differentiate between ego and self-respect. 

2. When it is matter of close relationship, drop the ego and initiate communication. 

3. Be more humble as you rise higher. 

4. Let the organisational goals take priority over ego. 

5. When you walk on the path of spirituality, ego reduces. 

EHH: Envy Harbours Hate.

EHH: 

Envy Harbours Hate. 

 

I will not say that envy always brings hate but yes most of the time it develops negative feelings towards the person we are envy. Broadly envy can create 2 types of feelings. First if you have positive attitude, than envy can encourage you and motivate you to compete and achieve even bigger heights than person with whom you are jealous. Secondly if you have mostly negative type of attitude than you may withdraw from the game and may develop feeling of hate towards person. 

 

The best way is not to allow the feeling of envy or jealousy to emerge at all. But there are situations in which we develop feeling of envy at very early stage of life when our parents unknowingly compare with our siblings and we are forced to compete in studies and sports and expected to be first always. Our parenting system and education system lacks the development of teamwork. These impressions and experiences become roadblocks in becoming a successful good personality when we enter in our work life. In the present days of industrialization, urbanisation and scientific innovation of various materialistic things, it is highly alluring, so much that emerging of envy feeling is natural. 

5 Tips to deal with feeling of envy:

1. Genuinely appreciate others achievements. 

2. Be positive about self. 

3. Do not allow inferiority complex to set in. 

4. Compete with self. 

5. Work more enthusiastically to achieve greater heights.

DYD - Do Your Duty

The most difficult question in my life was and still is, who am I and what is my dharma (duty)? By dharma I do not mean here religion but what I mean here is duty. In life we have many roles and many relationships. So far my conclusion is honestly discharging the duty of each and every role and each and every relationship shall be our duty. 

We have relationships as a son or daughter, as sibling, as parent, as a member of extended family, as a member of community, society and religious group, as a boss, colleague or subordinate, as a citizen of nation and entire planet. Every role demands certain responsibility and duty. Our dharma is to discharge that duty as diligently as possible. Some time it so happen that opponent party is not fulfilling his/ her duty and in that pretext we also take a stand that if he is not fulfilling his duty than why shall I. This may satisfy our ego for time being but it can never give any thing better in our life. 

5 Tips to do your duty:

1. Make a list of your roles and related duties.

2. Do not worry about reward while doing your duty.

3. Do not expect from other party that he will do his duty.

4. Wisdom is needed to perform conflicting duties.

5. If it is impossible to fulfill your duty, be transparent with the other party.

DOR: Discipline Or Regret.

DOR: 

Discipline Or Regret. 

 

This tip is focusing about discipline in personal life. Most of us have got a habit to seek discipline from others but not adopt the same principles and rules in our own life. 

 

Discipline must be started in small things in life such as daily morning walk or exercise, going school or office in time, sleeping in time, reaching in time on appointments, keeping things in place, wearing uniform in office (if it is there) etc. Discipline is wider term but it’s mainly related to time management. One must learn from our planet earth. It revolves at a fixed speed on its axis and around sun that result in timely sunset or sunrise, proper seasons etc. If you are not disciplined, you will have more regrets in life. Though in India people have disease of not doing any thing in time and people who are punctual many times regret to reach anywhere in time but their habit of punctuality keeps other aspect of life well in control. 

 

5 Tips to live disciplined Life:

1. Manage your time with discipline.

2. Check that there is place for everything and everything is in place.

3. Do not feel irritated, if you are disciplined and others are not.

4. At home your relationship is more important than discipline.

5. Consistency is needed in discipline.

DNH: Destroy Negative Habits.

DNH: 

Destroy Negative Habits. 

 

Habits are like adhesive. Spelling of HABIT is very interesting. You remove H, A BIT is there. Remove A, BIT is there. Remove B, IT is still there.  Habits can be good as well as bad, positive habits and negative habits. It is good to develop positive habits but one must destroy negative habits. Mostly when we have lesser control on our senses, we develop negative habits. To develop positive habit one need strong mind. Irony is that many times we are not even aware of our negative habits, so taking regular feed back of our near and dear ones can help in knowing our bad habits.

 

Having knowledge of bad habit is first step towards working in the direction of removal of habit. Research says that removing an old habit or developing a new habit requires conscious efforts of 21 days. In 21 days if you miss any day than start counting again from one. One thing for sure, expecting positive results from negative habit is like expecting mangoes from neem tree. Habit is like master, whether good habit or bad habit, it keeps control on you. 

 

5 Tips to deal with bad habits:

1. Make the list of bad habits.

2. Deal with one at a time.

3. Develop a strong will power.

4. Ask your near and dear ones to help you in fighting with bad habit. 

5. Install a good habit to replace with bad habit.

DMP: Don't Magnify Problems.

DMP:  

Don't Magnify Problems. 

 

50% people are not interested in your problems and rest is happy that you have problems. Some people have habit to share their problem and that too with great details and in style, where they create mountain out of mole.  

 

It is not that one shall keep his problems with himself only. Especially men feel inferior in sharing their problems. Most of the time they do not share even with their spouse. That attitude is also not advisable. Sharing with right person reduces pain and chances of getting solution increases. Important is selection of person one need to share his problems. There are two type of people with whom one shall share the problem. One your close family or associate that is going to get impacted with the problem and another is competent person who has ability to solve your problem. Keep in mind while sharing at do not magnify your problems, neither problem is going to reduce by magnifying, nor you can get right solution.

 

5 Tips to handle problems:

1. Problems are inevitable, share with the right people.

2. Be positive and think about right solution rather than feeling helpless.

3. Do not advertise your problems.

4. For few problems, time is the great healer. Keep patience.

5. Try to be more knowledgeable about problem and its probable solutions.

DMM: Determination Moves Mountains.

DMM:  

Determination Moves Mountains. 

 

River water can cut the rocks not only because of its force but of its perseverance. Extra ordinary intelligence or charismatic behavior is not at all mandatory for becoming successful in life. The only thing which matters here is your determination to overcome difficulties. Once the target is set, continuity of efforts is needed to get the results. Problems would arise, but problems are harmless in front of person who is standing like a rock for his/her mission. Frankly speaking, determined person would always find innovative ways to overcome any difficulty.

 

Let’s take example of fields such as sports, politics, films, industries or agriculture, success has been achieved by each and every people who were determined for their cause. Most gifted tennis player do not become champion, most determined and dedicated does. Most intelligent person does not become most successful entrepreneur, most determined and dedicated does. Take any field; if you have determination and dedication, it can replace any weakness. 

5 Tips for Determination:

1. Do not entertain any excuses.

2. Follow strict time discipline.

3. Let failure do not deter you.

4. Keep trust in self and the God.

5. Keep patience. Rewards take their own time to materialize.

DIP: Discipline in Private.

DIP: 

Discipline in Private. 

 

One must disciplined in private and praise in public but people forget this rule and do reverse. You might have observed several times, mothers start teaching dos and don’ts to their children when they are surrounded by guests and unknown people. Most of the time child will not obey in such situation because probably he feels attack on his ego and intelligence. 

 

Similar type of scene is prevalent in corporate world also where boss takes pleasure in showing his authority on subordinates, in front of other colleagues. He will start firing and criticizing his subordinate in front of others and poor employee may not have any option but to feel belittle and shame. In such prevailing situations, how one could expect great performance? Work might be done but employees would never be able to give their 100%.

 

5 Tips to discipline your juniors:

1. Do not criticize in front of others.

2. Criticise the behavior/ performance not the person.

3. Criticism should be coupled with suggestions for improvement.

4. Try to find out the root cause of a problem if it’s repetitive.

5. Appreciate upon improvements.

DIN: Do it Now.

DIN: 

Do it Now. 

 

Procrastination is a disease. It has done more damage than good. Most of the people can’t think quickly. They can’t take quick decision. If decision is taken, they can’t take quick action. There can’t be any reward if you can’t take any action. 

 

Sometime delay tactics work but most of the time it is considered as hindrance. It is quite possible that all the information or resources are not available to take quick action but start your first step. Highly successful people, takes very quick decision and very fast action. For them time is the most important resource. Time saved is money saved. 

 

Whether it is completion of any course, building of house, execution of any project should be done as quickly as possible. For that mantra is “do it now”. 

 

5 Tips to take quick action:

1. Listen the voice of your conscious. It always advice you to take right action.

2. Do not go for excessive advise before taking action.

3. Take small step but take the step quickly.

4. Start your day with To-Do-List.

5. Spend every day one hour for your health and one hour for enriching the mind. That will keep you action oriented through out the day.

DDD: Dreams Drive Destiny.

DDD:

Dreams Drive Destiny. 

 

Dreams here mean which we visualize with open eyes and alert mind. Dreaming with open eyes is more structured process than simply wishing or desiring. In dreaming, lot of thought process is involved. Person visualizes what ultimately he wants to become? Why he wants that? What are the options he has? What would be the path and process to reach there? 

 

Once the dream or vision is decided, opportunities start emerging. Of course dreaming alone is not enough. One needs to act. But it is the dream that stimulate action. Dedication and determination is required for implementing your dreams. Quality and vastness of dreams depend upon your ability to think beyond your present reality. As a general rule, if your dreams are not 20 times in 10 years compared to your present situation than your dreams are just average. 

5 Steps for effective dreaming:

1. Dream for long term, at least 5-10 years ahead.

2. Dream beyond your present capabilities.

3. Do not worry that people will laugh on your dreams.

4. Read biographies of your role modals.

5. Dreams followed by actions will take you towards your destiny.

DDA: Discuss Don't Argue.

DDA: 

Discuss Don't Argue. 

 

Most of the relationships, whether at work or in life, get strained and instead of maintaining discussion we generally end up in having an argument, even on small and unimportant issues. Discussion clarifies things whereas argument always ends up with fight. 

 

Every person is right from his point of view. Actually, person is guided by his thoughts, experiences, knowledge and circumstances. It is not that always other person is against you; it is mostly because he thinks differently. 

 

In discussion, there is a scope to listen others point of view. But when argument starts, person doesn’t want to listen anything else. If we listen attentively and empathetically, it would lead to better ideas and solutions. Be cautious, on discussion drifting towards an argument, pull it back and keep it within the limits of discussion only. 

5 Tips to avoid argument:

1. Plan your discussion

2. Listen empathetically.

3. When you are about to lose control, stop immediately.

4. Learn to avoid discussion on small matters.

5. Give more weightage to relationship.

DBR: DONT BREAK RULES

DBR: 

Don't Break Rules. 

 

It is not that all rules are good and rational but breaking rules is not civilised. If you do not like rule try to change it but do not break it. Breaking the rules create anarchy. It disturbs life of good citizens. 

 

Once in Canada my son was driving in night at around 11pm and I was seating beside him. The roads were totally empty but he stopped. I did not understand why he stopped. When I asked, he said there is a white line and the rule is to stop for a second, look around and if no one is coming from other side than move ahead. 

 

The rules can be as simple as traffic rules and as difficult as coming before 9pm in the hostel. People who are disciplined and do not break rules are always respected. Even if you are a good performer but not disciplined, you can never become star employee. 

 

5 Tips to follow the rules:

1. Know the rules about whatever you are doing.

2. Follow the rules religiously particularly when you are out of your home.

3. Do not feel upset when others are breaking rules.

4. When you are a rule maker, make sure these are practical.

5. Do not criticize rules, if you cannot change them.

DBD: Deserve Before Desire.

DBD: 

Deserve Before Desire. 

 

Geeta says do your duty but do not worry about rewards whereas most of us want rewards without doing any duty. In India, millions of people everyday will queue up in front of temples and pray to the God for fulfillment of various desires but will not make enough efforts to deserve those rewards. 

 

Several times in life we feel that we are not getting rewards to the extent we deserve. However, if we deeply analyze the reasons for failure we will find that somewhere our efforts were not enough. Sometimes, external factors, which are beyond our control might also play role in failure but than blaming external reasons are not going to give any success. 

 

5 Tips to deserve reward:

1. Desires are not enough without efforts.

2. Give your 100% in whatever you are doing.

3. Keep patience for reward.

4. Let failure do not disappoint you for further efforts.

5. External factors are beyond your control and have greater ability to influence the consequences.

DAS: Differences Are Strengths.

DAS: 

Differences Are Strengths. 

 

Generally, we make rigorous efforts to make our children and subordinates as our xerox copy by constantly saying them things, which are right from our prospective. In this process, we forget and ignore that every person is different and he/she needs to build his/her own strengths. Having different skills, knowledge, attitude, and thinking shall not be viewed as weakness rather it shall be explored and utilized as strength. People are not useless actually they are not utilized to their fullest level. A person may be round but if you want to fit him in square, you both will be living in stress. 

 

Good leaders are those who can find different qualities in a person and give him role, which fits into their personality. In a team where every person is doing role, which he/she is passionate about, that team will perform at the level, which no one can match. 

 

5 Tips to appreciate differences:

1. Encourage opposite views that will help you to understand problem in holistic way.

2. Find out strengths and weaknesses of self, including other members of team.

3. Capitalise on complementary qualities of each team member.

4. Respect different qualities of people.

5. Do not compare or compete self with others.

CYM: CONQUER YOUR MIND

CYM: 

Conquer Your Mind. 

Conquering mind is easy to say but it’s the most difficult thing to achieve. People like Buddha and Mahavir could do that. It is not easy to define what is mind but with an analogy it is easy to understand that mind is like bridles of 5 horses in chariot. 5 senses can be termed as 5 horses. Our intellect is like a driver of chariot.

 

Our mind, get inputs from all senses and store them for immediate or future use. Our actions are the result of feelings and experiences we have collected in our past. Whether we are doing good or bad or not doing any thing, all is in command of our mind. Our intellect gives decision for doing or not doing things based on the arguments put forth by our mind and our conscious. When the senses are not in control, they will force mind to get permission of intellect and do whatever they want to do. 

 

What we are and what we will become is the outcome of quality of our mind. Mind has ability to design our destiny whether good or bad.

5 Tips to Conquer Mind:

1. Always be alert about your thoughts.

2. Bury the negative thoughts.

3. Nurture the positive thoughts.

4. All actions to be generated by positive thoughts.

5. Develop strong will power to destroy negativity.

CYL: Challenge Your Limits.

CYL: 

Challenge Your Limits. 

 

In Indian mythology, Hanuman never knew that he has an ability to fly till Lord Rama made him realize. Like that, we all have immense hidden abilities and potential but most of the time we set our own psychological limits and do not challenge ourselves. 

 

We all know the vast difference between our knowledge as a child versus modern age children. Curriculum variation in today’s time versus 50 years back is immense. Children have amazing ability to grasp knowledge; it is we put limitation fearing they may be over burdened. Research has proved that a normal person use only 2-3% of his brain while genius uses 7-10%. Imagine the extent of potential being wasted. People are same as far as physical appearances are concerned. Every one has 2 eyes, 2 hands etc. but they are different in utilizing their potential. 

 

5 Tips to challenge your limits:

1. Everyday devote around 15-30 minutes on quality thinking.

2. Accept the challenges with courage.

3. Always try to set stretched goals.

4. Determination and dedication is the key to success.

5. Accept the failures as lessons and bounce with more zeal.

CYF: Control Your Frustration

CYF

Control Your Frustration

 

Though this tip is useful for all but I wrote keeping in mind NRIs returning back to India for permanent settlement. You will see people breaking traffic rules, throwing waste from car windows, spitting on road, peeing on roadside, not reaching on appointed time. There are 100s of similar examples and you will feel frustrated by looking at such things. Frustration is going to spoil your mood and your day. Accept the reality that your frustration is not going to change the behavior of people surrounding you. If you think, you can change them, than your entire life will be short even to inculcate one good habit in all citizens. 

 

The best strategy is, 1) Do not change good habits you had developed. 2) First try to train your near and dear ones about adopting good habits. 3). Never lose control on your mood and feel frustrated. 4) Slowly expand your circle of influence. 

Hundreds of time you will feel that your efforts are useless and you may fall in trap of losing even your own good habits. Control your frustration by adopting below mentioned tips. 

5 Tips to control frustration:

1. Make a list of your frustrations.

2. Change or accept the situation.

3. Focus on what is in your control.

4. Communicate directly with person whom behavior frustrates you.

5. Replace your frustration with positive thinking.